Dreams Come Back
I write often, I don’t post as often though, the two reasons are that one; I'm a visual artist and feel my strengths lay *naturally* in the visual arts.
the second is because the stories I tell aren’t up to me, not directly at least and the one in charge just shows up and hands me something new whenever she feels necessary.
not very content friendly I'm afraid.
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the story I’m talking about is a continuing one I've been following for a few years now, the road to becoming the great artist I’d like to be. To be quick, I’ll get to the points before I tell you what I think it's about.
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These dreams; the Wave, the Sun on the Horizon, the Gun (I haven’t spoken about this one yet), and the blackout period since all follow a strict formula.
*number one: I start with a group of friends/family in every setting. either I'm cooking breakfast with friends on a Sunday morning after a hazy night, or I'm seeing them at a party that’s closing up, perhaps just leaving a beach get-together or a housewarming.
*number two: the sun on the horizon. maybe I'm dramatic, maybe I love Caravaggio, but I always dream of the dramatic shadows of the sunset.
*number three: The Muse. if you know me, I probably have described my muse, depending on when we spoke, you might think I'm just obsessed with blondes, or hazel eyes, bikinis, or tender smiles. but the truth is, the muse I talk about only represents desire, the unattainable supermodel as my impossible dream in human form.
*the chase: sometimes brief through a corner and a hallway, or through a maze and scaling cliffs and odd, frail scaffolding. she looks at me and charms me into following her.
*the revelation: she stands by a window while water swirls and smashes the glass, she looks at me to figure out the giant wave on the horizon, she falls asleep under the light shining through the forest…. she shows me a chrome gun and threatens my life :’(.
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looking back on my journey, especially this year and when they appeared, I see how this is more than a guide for painting, this "Muse" is guiding me through the uncharted territory I decided to treat onto. she warns me of forces I can’t control, she smiles a sweet smile when I've been working in the right direction and becomes frustrated, angry when I think of shortcuts or detours.
she’s still mad about my last detour, but she’s back, slowly showing me hints of the dreams I miss.
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I hope I'm doing the right thing